Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
More thoughts on balance
I think I have balance. I think what I've been looking for, and getting frustrated because I don't have, is perfection. Nobody in this life has perfection. We're not supposed to. We're supposed to learn and grow and work hard, and have joy and sorrow. Learning, check. Growing, check. Working hard, check. Joy, check. Sorrow, check.
Friday, May 14, 2010
A day with some balance...
I just finished posting this on my journal blog (YES - I finally did it)! But it is a post free from lists of kids' milestones and hideously boring family details (mostly). And it seemed more fitting to this blog, anyway, so I am reposting it here. Forgive my rambling.
Well, today was relatively busy. Got up, exercised, took the girls to school, came home, wasted time playing games on phone, got breakfast for me & boys, played with boys, comforted sick Koley, took a shower, Kole down for nap, Gramps over to watch boys, lunch with mom, home to boys and homework (mine), girls came home, chased neighbor's dogs away, more homework, visit with Lisa :), girls went to sleep over with Aunt Jo Jo, as she is getting MARRIED next week!!!!, mad dash to the bank to pay mortgage, went to the grocery store with Jagger, Subway meatball subs on the way home for me and Shawn, ate dinner while feeding Kole and Jag and putting groceries away. Now, have just changed two diapers and am posting real quick before going up to finish putting groceries away and clean kitchen. Have done no laundry today so there is none to fold. Maybe I will start some just so I feel like am making progress.
Am trying sooooo hard to find the balance in life, especially between work and home. Most of the time I feel stressed and overwhelmed, but part of me thinks that I create some of that all by myself. I am discovering that I am way more of a perfectionist than I had ever previously thought. I've never thought of myself as someone who is crazy-obsessive over the house looking perfect, kids looking perfect, etc. And it's not really that as much as I get so upset with myself if EVERYTHING isn't done EVERY DAY. It's hard for me to let things wait until tomorrow. I am a procrasinator by nature, so I think subconsciously I am so scared that if I don't do something TODAY, it will never get done because I will forget or just keep procrastinating. (Also am way too analytical). But with six people living in a 1500 square foot house, a smidge of procrastination leads to a veeeery messy home. Because not only is there just not a place for all our stuff, there is also nowhere to hide messes, big or small. It all boils down to wanting our home to be peaceful, a sanctuary for our family and a warm and inviting place for our guests. But lately home hasn't been a sanctuary for me. And it needs to be. It is mine, and however small, I love it because it is enough. Anyway, I am trying harder to make plans and stick to them, as far as when to do what (paperwork that I bring home, laundry, errands, etc.). I make lists and then try to let the list take the place of mentally trying to hold on to everything all at once. I am trying to be happy in the NOW, happy with what I DO, with what I HAVE, with what I ACCOMPLISH every day. I have the four BEST kids in the whole wide world - they are happy, self-confident, secure, and well-mannered. I have a husband who loves me. I am a hard worker, and I need to take pride in that instead of resenting it. All of that is just so much easier said than done. I am a work in progress, my friends. And most days I feel very inadequate to the task at hand. But I am a daughter of God, and by His saving grace can I only hope to grow.
I titled this post the way I did because I DO feel like today had some balance. I got things done for home and for work. I had time to play with and take care of my kids. I had lunch with someone who I care about.
Time to finish the kitchen and RELAX. And not think about laundry or paperwork!
Well, today was relatively busy. Got up, exercised, took the girls to school, came home, wasted time playing games on phone, got breakfast for me & boys, played with boys, comforted sick Koley, took a shower, Kole down for nap, Gramps over to watch boys, lunch with mom, home to boys and homework (mine), girls came home, chased neighbor's dogs away, more homework, visit with Lisa :), girls went to sleep over with Aunt Jo Jo, as she is getting MARRIED next week!!!!, mad dash to the bank to pay mortgage, went to the grocery store with Jagger, Subway meatball subs on the way home for me and Shawn, ate dinner while feeding Kole and Jag and putting groceries away. Now, have just changed two diapers and am posting real quick before going up to finish putting groceries away and clean kitchen. Have done no laundry today so there is none to fold. Maybe I will start some just so I feel like am making progress.
Am trying sooooo hard to find the balance in life, especially between work and home. Most of the time I feel stressed and overwhelmed, but part of me thinks that I create some of that all by myself. I am discovering that I am way more of a perfectionist than I had ever previously thought. I've never thought of myself as someone who is crazy-obsessive over the house looking perfect, kids looking perfect, etc. And it's not really that as much as I get so upset with myself if EVERYTHING isn't done EVERY DAY. It's hard for me to let things wait until tomorrow. I am a procrasinator by nature, so I think subconsciously I am so scared that if I don't do something TODAY, it will never get done because I will forget or just keep procrastinating. (Also am way too analytical). But with six people living in a 1500 square foot house, a smidge of procrastination leads to a veeeery messy home. Because not only is there just not a place for all our stuff, there is also nowhere to hide messes, big or small. It all boils down to wanting our home to be peaceful, a sanctuary for our family and a warm and inviting place for our guests. But lately home hasn't been a sanctuary for me. And it needs to be. It is mine, and however small, I love it because it is enough. Anyway, I am trying harder to make plans and stick to them, as far as when to do what (paperwork that I bring home, laundry, errands, etc.). I make lists and then try to let the list take the place of mentally trying to hold on to everything all at once. I am trying to be happy in the NOW, happy with what I DO, with what I HAVE, with what I ACCOMPLISH every day. I have the four BEST kids in the whole wide world - they are happy, self-confident, secure, and well-mannered. I have a husband who loves me. I am a hard worker, and I need to take pride in that instead of resenting it. All of that is just so much easier said than done. I am a work in progress, my friends. And most days I feel very inadequate to the task at hand. But I am a daughter of God, and by His saving grace can I only hope to grow.
I titled this post the way I did because I DO feel like today had some balance. I got things done for home and for work. I had time to play with and take care of my kids. I had lunch with someone who I care about.
Time to finish the kitchen and RELAX. And not think about laundry or paperwork!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Look what I can do!!!
Okay, so I know it's completely nothing to all you computer-savvy ladies out there, but I just learned how to make a custom header!!! With text, that is. Have no idea how to stick a picture in there.
How is life for everyone? If anyone's even reading this, anyway! Nobody seems to be posting much lately, myself included! Partly I am so busy, and partly I haven't had anything really interesting to post about. Is everyone feeling that way? It seems like some people can post about absolutely nothing, and it reads like a funny newspaper column. I love reading those kinds of blogs.
I suppose if I wasn't so tired, I would post about the upcoming School District #91 bond vote. Maybe that post is yet to come. If not, please vote. But only if you're going to vote in favor. You really won't notice the few extra dollars added on to your property tax each year, and our school district needs the funds. Our kiddos need adequate buildings and equipment through which to receive a quality education. Look for a flier or go online to find out what the details are. And vote yes on May 18th!!! (http://www.ifschools.org/)
How is life for everyone? If anyone's even reading this, anyway! Nobody seems to be posting much lately, myself included! Partly I am so busy, and partly I haven't had anything really interesting to post about. Is everyone feeling that way? It seems like some people can post about absolutely nothing, and it reads like a funny newspaper column. I love reading those kinds of blogs.
I suppose if I wasn't so tired, I would post about the upcoming School District #91 bond vote. Maybe that post is yet to come. If not, please vote. But only if you're going to vote in favor. You really won't notice the few extra dollars added on to your property tax each year, and our school district needs the funds. Our kiddos need adequate buildings and equipment through which to receive a quality education. Look for a flier or go online to find out what the details are. And vote yes on May 18th!!! (http://www.ifschools.org/)
Monday, February 22, 2010
A Request
So...I just finished reading a very good and veeeeeery scary book. Although I am admittedly easily spooked (had to sleep with the TV on after watching I Am Legend and dreamed about man-eating vampire dogs for weeks), the book is described in this way, "...whole chapters suffused with a quiet, implacable dread." Yep, DREAD, my friends. I will probably have to sleep with the TV on again tonight. Oh, have I not mentioned the title yet? It is The Historian, by Elizabeth Kostova. A benign enough title, to be sure, but don't mistake a boring title for a boring book!
Anyway, here we come to the request portion of this post. Will somebody please, please, please read this book so I have someone to talk to about it?! If I talk about it, it will become less dreadfully scary. Plus, it is truly a really good, well-written book. Although at the moment, I'm wishing I hadn't read it. So, "real-life" friend, or online friend, would someone PLEASE read this book and talk to me about it?! Thanks.
P.S. This is one that I would GLADLY loan out, if you're brave enough to heed my request!
Anyway, here we come to the request portion of this post. Will somebody please, please, please read this book so I have someone to talk to about it?! If I talk about it, it will become less dreadfully scary. Plus, it is truly a really good, well-written book. Although at the moment, I'm wishing I hadn't read it. So, "real-life" friend, or online friend, would someone PLEASE read this book and talk to me about it?! Thanks.
P.S. This is one that I would GLADLY loan out, if you're brave enough to heed my request!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Bliss List
Credit where credit is due - I am stealing this idea from my friend Melissa. :)
These things make me blissfully happy (in no particular order):
My kids.
Quiet days or nights at home, especially when the house is clean.
Organizing.
Cooking, when I have lots of time, and am adequately prepared.
Reading a really good book.
New clothes, shoes, jackets, coats, bags, and earrings, even better if said items have come to me via sale!
Time with Shawn, no kids, no dirty house, no waiting chores. Date night or not, those times seem pretty few and far between lately.
Date night with my girlfriends.
Summer mornings.
Playing in the lake (in the summertime; not such a big fan of ice fishing).
My kids getting along and loving each other when they don't think I'm watching.
What makes you happy?
These things make me blissfully happy (in no particular order):
My kids.
Quiet days or nights at home, especially when the house is clean.
Organizing.
Cooking, when I have lots of time, and am adequately prepared.
Reading a really good book.
New clothes, shoes, jackets, coats, bags, and earrings, even better if said items have come to me via sale!
Time with Shawn, no kids, no dirty house, no waiting chores. Date night or not, those times seem pretty few and far between lately.
Date night with my girlfriends.
Summer mornings.
Playing in the lake (in the summertime; not such a big fan of ice fishing).
My kids getting along and loving each other when they don't think I'm watching.
What makes you happy?
Saturday, January 23, 2010
We have so much...
I came down here all fired up to write a scathing and very whiney post about how crappy it is that I have to/choose to work. Because it is Saturday night, I just finished scrubbing dishes, there are 5+ loads of laundry waiting to be folded, and I am about to start trying to catch up on a mountain of paperwork (job-related, not family-related). And that is NOT what I want to do. I WANT to eat stove-popped popcorn, drink green tea, and watch a movie!
Then I realized, it is Saturday night, and somewhere in this world, somewhere in this town, people are cold. And hungry. And children are scared. Somewhere in this world, people live in houses made of dirt and could live for a week on the amount of leftovers I just threw out. Somewhere in this world, women are desperate for the freedoms I take for granted.
But here, in my home, in my Saturday night, my kids have full tummies and warm beds. They have a mommy and a daddy who love them more than our own lives. We have a home that suits our needs and live in a country where we are afforded countless personal freedoms. We are blessed and I am grateful.
Then I realized, it is Saturday night, and somewhere in this world, somewhere in this town, people are cold. And hungry. And children are scared. Somewhere in this world, people live in houses made of dirt and could live for a week on the amount of leftovers I just threw out. Somewhere in this world, women are desperate for the freedoms I take for granted.
But here, in my home, in my Saturday night, my kids have full tummies and warm beds. They have a mommy and a daddy who love them more than our own lives. We have a home that suits our needs and live in a country where we are afforded countless personal freedoms. We are blessed and I am grateful.
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