A day with some balance...

I just finished posting this on my journal blog (YES - I finally did it)!  But it is a post free from lists of kids' milestones and hideously boring family details (mostly).  And it seemed more fitting to this blog, anyway, so I am reposting it here.  Forgive my rambling.

Well, today was relatively busy. Got up, exercised, took the girls to school, came home, wasted time playing games on phone, got breakfast for me & boys, played with boys, comforted sick Koley, took a shower, Kole down for nap, Gramps over to watch boys,  lunch with mom, home to boys and homework (mine), girls came home, chased neighbor's dogs away, more homework, visit with Lisa :), girls went to sleep over with Aunt Jo Jo, as she is getting MARRIED next week!!!!, mad dash to the bank to pay mortgage, went to the grocery store with Jagger, Subway meatball subs on the way home for me and Shawn, ate dinner while feeding Kole and Jag and putting groceries away.  Now, have just changed two diapers and am posting real quick before going up to finish putting groceries away and clean kitchen. Have done no laundry today so there is none to fold. Maybe I will start some just so I feel like am making progress.


Am trying sooooo hard to find the balance in life, especially between work and home. Most of the time I feel stressed and overwhelmed, but part of me thinks that I create some of that all by myself. I am discovering that I am way more of a perfectionist than I had ever previously thought. I've never thought of myself as someone who is crazy-obsessive over the house looking perfect, kids looking perfect, etc. And it's not really that as much as I get so upset with myself if EVERYTHING isn't done EVERY DAY. It's hard for me to let things wait until tomorrow. I am a procrasinator by nature, so I think subconsciously I am so scared that if I don't do something TODAY, it will never get done because I will forget or just keep procrastinating. (Also am way too analytical). But with six people living in a 1500 square foot house, a smidge of procrastination leads to a veeeery messy home. Because not only is there just not a place for all our stuff, there is also nowhere to hide messes, big or small. It all boils down to wanting our home to be peaceful, a sanctuary for our family and a warm and inviting place for our guests. But lately home hasn't been a sanctuary for me. And it needs to be. It is mine, and however small, I love it because it is enough. Anyway, I am trying harder to make plans and stick to them, as far as when to do what (paperwork that I bring home, laundry, errands, etc.). I make lists and then try to let the list take the place of mentally trying to hold on to everything all at once. I am trying to be happy in the NOW, happy with what I DO, with what I HAVE, with what I ACCOMPLISH every day. I have the four BEST kids in the whole wide world - they are happy, self-confident, secure, and well-mannered. I have a husband who loves me. I am a hard worker, and I need to take pride in that instead of resenting it. All of that is just so much easier said than done. I am a work in progress, my friends. And most days I feel very inadequate to the task at hand. But I am a daughter of God, and by His saving grace can I only hope to grow.

I titled this post the way I did because I DO feel like today had some balance. I got things done for home and for work. I had time to play with and take care of my kids. I had lunch with someone who I care about.

Time to finish the kitchen and RELAX. And not think about laundry or paperwork!