Friday, March 20, 2009

Overwhelmed

So.....feeling the need to verbally purge some of my frustration today. I am having one of THOSE weeks. Except that I've been having one of those weeks for a while now. I realized just now, while doing my dishes, while listening to Kole sqwawk, knowing that the girls are sitting there with him in the SAME ROOM and just totally ignoring him, that I had ONE good day this week. It was Tuesday. I am finding that there just aren't enough hours in the day, and not enough of ME to go around. Certainly feeling that I don't have room in my life for ME right now, and resenting that a bit. I was just telling my mom that, even as being a wife and mom soak up the better part of my energy right now, I still haven't lost myself. HAH! Don't proud words always come around to bite you in the behind? Part of my frustration can be attributed to the fact that I hold myself to certain standards, and when they don't get met, regularly, I kind of come apart. What I mean by regularly is that I think I am pretty go-with-the-flow when things in my home/personal life head south for a day or so, but I catch up. Lately, I am ALWAYS catching up. Doing laundry, dishes, etc., well into the wee hours. Crashing in bed without having time to relax, knowing in just a few hours it will start all over again. Living on diet coke. This is not okay. But is it something I have to just get used to? Isn't there some way to find balance without sacraficing time with our kids or order in our homes? How is this done?
Now, all you beautiful, wonderful ladies who read this - I know you have been here, too. And I am just beligerent enough to say this tonight, but I do NOT want to hear that this time will pass. I do NOT want to hear that kids are only young once, and that the dishes can wait until tomorrow. Because the fact is, the dishes can only wait until you want to eat again. What I want is a massage. And Happy Hour. And I'm not going to get either. So I'm just going to be grouchy.

5 comments:

Cook Family said...

bring your kiddos on over and ENJOY a great massage and happy hour (just not at the bar, right?):) I'll be here for you all day until we go out to dinner w/you tonight! :)

Ashley said...

I hear ya and I feel your frustration, and I only have ONE kid! We need to get out sometime this week.

Melissa said...

It's alright being grumpy! I am. And if it's not, I guess I don't want to hear it either! but you have a reason to be grumpy the last few months have been tough! and you've been a trooper, a hard worker and you have rolled with it. So maybe it's not so bad that the diet coke is used...again if it's not I don't want to hear it !!!:) ( or else I'll be in trouble!)

Andi, your a good Mom. Your a good friend. your also a good wife. It will get better.

hears to a better week!!

idahohubers said...

Where is pocket Edward when needed huh!? He could offer a massage... and also mix up a mean coke on the rocks too.

Unknown said...

I seem to have these days like every day lately too and I get sick of hearing it will pass too. I think I even said that on an earlier bad day you had- sorry. I know on those days you just want to punch anyone that says something like that, cause you seem to hear that all the time. Fact is- somedays we need to scream, cry, maybe even swear a bit and get it out- and then have some freakin "mommy time" before we lose it! :) Thank goodness for Diet Coke or women would be insane!